A mother only allows herself to feel loss if she gifts it to herself. I find it is only for a short time that I grant myself this luxury this morning. My first born, my sweet daughter left this early morning to find new adventures in a new state, on her own, taking a road trip to explore with her courageous heart. I am so proud of her for listening to her inner voice that says to go and find more, see more, learn and experience what this world has to offer. I envy her strength and the trust she must have in herself. She travels to a place she has never lived, no one she knows, to seek a job that is unknown and yet, she drives forward.
I lay in bed for hours thinking of the first time I saw her face and the beauty that was in her eyes. Her cries softened when I spoke to her for the first time and this morning, her tears flowed with mine. We bond as women and feel the magnitude of our love for one another. She has always been free but to wave goodbye, knowing this will be a further distance for us both, makes me want to cry out, “Stay! Stay a little longer. Let me hear your beautiful voice linger with your song, a little longer”.
My wish is that she knows how precious she is and has always been. She’s a grown woman now but I see all the years of her life through my eyes. I welcome all her years with open arms. The ones that have been and the years to come for her. I have been honored to love her every day and witness the beauty that she is. She is kind. She is loving. She is an artist. She is the smartest person I know with an intellect that defies this planet. She is a pioneer in the VR world of computers and I believe her name will be known long after she leaves this world. She continues to make her mark wherever she goes and her love has left a mark within my soul that is everlasting.
Go forward my girl! I will gather my tears and embrace them as I witness your path. I will be here and cheer you on in all your adventures. I will grieve for a little while and embrace your open road. I will continue to love my life in all its various ways and I will always be grateful that I get to be your momma everyday!
I love you unconditionally and feel that in return. Knowing you has been and will always be my greatest treasure. Thank you for the gift of you! I love you with all of me!